12 Aug Why Is Communication So Damn Hard? Learn to Share Your Feelings
Communication is tough. Especially when the topic of discussion revolves around a sensitive subject like your feelings.
Sure, it’s a touchy-feely topic and your first instinct may be to brush it off or call it lame. But, the reality is, giving communication the cold shoulder is just another defense mechanism people use to protect themselves – out of fear of being rejected, laughed at, or whatever it may be.
Unlatching that cage you’ve built and truly expressing yourself – whether it be through music, writing, fashion, or talking with others – can have an incredible impact on your life.
Let those words fly free.
Why Communication Fears Are Limiting
When you view communication in the same way your 7-year-old self feared monsters on the bed, it can prevent you from strengthening relationships, meeting new people, connecting with others, advancing your career, and growing as an individual.
We live in an era where our native language is the internet. Between the Twittersphere, Buzzfeed quizzes, and scrolling through social media feeds, we have the opportunity to communicate with people across the globe anytime anywhere. While engaging in digital conversations and throwing out some likes and retweets is applaud-worthy, effective communication goes beyond just a computer screen and requires real interaction.
Whether you need to ask someone for help, pluck up the courage to ask a cute guy or girl on a date, approach your teacher about a bully, talk to your parents about hard (even cringe-worthy) topics, or sit down with your boss to make a case for why you deserve a promotion, communication and opening yourself up is key. It’s okay to be vulnerable. And guess what? Sometimes you will get rejected. That’s life. But, that’s how we learn and discover what’s really important to us.
Your Feelings Are Worthy
Oftentimes, people struggling to share their feelings because they believe their feelings aren’t unworthy of being voiced or that they shouldn’t even be feeling that way in the first place. Going to reveal a major hint here: your feelings are always valid. That’s what makes you human. The takeaway here is you’re allowed to feel.
In order to be able to express yourself, you need to self-reflect and understand what exactly it is you’re feeling. Listen to some tunes, go for a walk, or write down your thoughts. It’s easy to recognize when you feel good or bad, but what does that really mean? Are you pissed at a friend? Feeling elated over the Golden Retriever puppy you just rescued from the shelter? Afraid of something? Feeling inadequate?
Identifying where your feelings stem from will not only help you understand your emotions and pinpoint the root cause, but it’ll also help you put those feelings into words. Once you can communicate what’s going on inside your head, it’ll take a tremendous weight off your shoulders and help you lean on friends or family for support, if needed. Plus, having clarity on what you’re feeling and why allows you to start taking action.
Feeling angry, ashamed, or annoyed? Never feel guilty about saying it out loud. Tip: yelling or violence is not the answer. While negative emotions are hard to deal with, bottling them up will only change your view on life and make you pessimistic. Let Scrooge and the Grinch live in their own hater universe. Your goal is to learn how to talk it out, write it down, dispel negativity and anger, and become the best version of yourself.
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